My Brother, Jerry Paul

So that you will understand whats going on let me go back just a little bit. Jerry Paul was diagnosed with Basil Cell Carcinoma 3 yrs ago. That was 4 weeks before they did his surgery. While on the table removing the cancer they found that somewhere in that 4 weeks Squamous Cell Carcinoma also set in. (His new diagnosis is Basil Squamous Cell Carcinoma.By the way there is no hyphen in between the Basil and Squamous.) The Squamous Cell ate his gums, left side of his pallet, left cheek, left sinus & the upper left top lip. Not to mention most of the bone on the left side of his face. (If you were to take a medium point pen and draw a line under your left eye on the edge of your eye socket, that's how much bone he has left under his left eye. He does have his lower left jaw bone. That's it as far as the bone on left side of his face.)

Now on to whats going on now.

The last couple days the kids and I were on vacation, the flap on his face deteriorated some. Plus is separating on the inside, he also has pus pockets on the inside of his mouth, and you can see several spots on his gums, lips and cheek where the cancer is very active. Yesterday he could be sitting and doing nothing and his cheek would start bleeding. (the outside) & you could pretty much watch it spread. It spreading so fast really concerned us, so we decided to go to the emergency room.

The best part.

I get him to the ER and the doctors are very concerned bout him. They are so concerned they send him home. lol.

The doctors really are concerned. As matter of fact they have him admitted into the hospital almost as soon as we walk into the Er. They get him a CT Scan ordered and a bag of antibiotics. We get word from his nurse that they are going to admit him so couple hours later I decide to go ahead and head home. (my stomach was growling so loud that they people in the hallway could hear it growl. lol) But for some reason I decided to stop and make sure they were admitting him. Thankfully I did too. The doctor had decided not to admit him. I was a little upset. I mean I don't really want him in the hospital again. But this time its right where he should be. They need to be pumping him full of antibiotics to make sure he doesn't get an infection. But the ER doctor literally fought with himself for over 3 hrs. I'm not sure which side finally won, but that side decided Jerry Paul needed to go back to Medical City of Dallas (where the 1st surgery was done) We tried to explain to him that those doctors will not touch him again. (Out of our decision) But just like all the other doctors he didn't listen. The bottom line the doctors and the hospital didn't want to be responsible for him. Its not the 1st time we've come across this problem and it so wont be the last. Anyways, his home health doctor came by today and gave us the # to an ENT. They'll send the referral tomorrow and Ill call Friday to get an appt.

How is he today? Hes doing good. It only bled once today. And the spreading has slowed down. Ive noticed that when it bleeds that's when it spreads. Here are 2 pics that I took yesterday. One of em was taken at 4:03 pm the 2nd one was taken at 9:30 pm. You can tell the difference in the size of the what ever it is on his face. It did spread more after I took the pics. And its spread even more so today. It has spread over half of his flap.

Sadly, it wont be to long before it takes over his entire flap. We are afraid he will have to have it removed. We have been told that he cant handle another long surgery like that. Well see I guess.

Anyways, If anyone has any questions please ask. We don't mind the questions. The only bad question is the question you don't ask. Thank you to everyone that has added Jerry Paul to their prayers. Sadly that's about all he has left now. Please continue to pray for him.

Thank You

My Hero

My hero! After I got stung. I'm not sure why Jacob did it. But he grab my cell phone and was going to call 911 for me. After we started pulling off I noticed that he had my phone and had it open. He said he was going to call me an ambulance because he didn't know what had happened. I thought it was real sweet that he had the frame of mind to call for help. I feel really bad that it scared him though.

It really "STUNG"

Yesterday I was taking Jacob over to Niki and Kyles. They all went to the Ringling Bros Circus. (They had a blast) Anyways, Jacob and I were on 121 just talking (cant tell you bout what now) then all of a sudden I had this bolt of unexplainable pain and fire go through my body. I kinda gasp & pulled over as fast as I could. I pull up the back of my shirt to have Jacob see if he see anything on my back. (I must have hit the gas when I felt that pain). I'm trying to show Jacob where the pain is at. And I hear this tap on my car and hear a mans voice asking if everything is ok. I look up and theres a cop standing there. He asks me again if everything is ok? I told him no something bit the #$%^ out of me. He says mam, I said something bit the crap out of me. My back is on fire and there an indescribable pain. I'm getting out of the car and the cop gets this look of panic on his face. I pull the back of my shirt up and ask him if he can see anything on my back, and show him the general area. He said there is a red spot on my back. And we start to look in my seat to see if we can find what bit me. The cop spotted it. I was stung by a bee. Ive never seen one like it. It was very big all black except for a dark orange stripe by its stinger. All I know is I have never been stung like that before. I was raised in the mountains and have been stung by all kinds of things. But nothing like that bee. And Ive never been stung while driving. It wasn't cool @all. When it stung me the world went black for a second. I'm so glad we didn't have a wreck. Shoot the area where I got stung is very sore & tender.
The funny thing was the cop. I guess I hit the gas when I got stung. And the cop was hiding somewhere. I had this feeling he was going to give me a ticket for speeding. Even though it was for just a sec.. But when I told him I got bit by something you could see the look on his face, that said I haven't heard this one. lol. Then when he saw the welt on my back he got this look like wow shes not lying. lol. So he didn't give me a ticket THANK GOODNESS lol.
Its definitely not an experience I want to go through again.

OMG!! ITS ALMOST TIME!!!!

I cant wait til August. (on other hand I hope it takes forever to get here, even though its next week) The kids have invited me to go to Utah with em. I couldn't believe they wanted me to go with em. But they do. And shoot yea I accepted. lol. I love Utah. Its such a beautiful state. And were going camping in Yellowstone Park. I am so excited. Theres just not any words. The kids said that they both have had this feeling that I needed to go with em. At 1st the other didn't know each other had this feeling. Im sure they both tried to ignore this feeling. I mean after all who in their right mind wants their mom and even worse mother in law going on vacation with em. lol. I guess the feeling became more than they could ignore. So Niki told Kyle bout her feeling of me needing to go and Kyle told Niki of his. So she sent me a text asking me if I wanted to go. At 1st I thought they were playing a mean joke. lol. But she said they really wanted me to go. So I jumped on it before they changed their minds. lol. They even asked me if there were things I wanted to do or see. So they are taking me to see the giant Tonka trucks. lol. And they are taking me to see the SLC Temple up close. And other things I wanted to do. The only concern we all had was how I was going to be able to handle the trip with my back the way it is. And they have gone out of their way to make sure we do things Ill be able to do pretty comfortably. I know it has changed things for them, you know some of the plans they may have had or some of the things they wanted to do. The kids don't have a clue as to how much this means to me. Theres nothing in this world that would show them how grateful I am.
The only thing that concerns me, is the feeling they both had bout me needing to go. lol. Theres been things going on here at home and a bad feeling that Jerry Paul and I have had. Things have been pretty stressful here at home. And I'm just hoping that all our feelings doesn't mean something really bad. Time will tell.
Thank you kids for allowing me to enjoy your vacation with you. I love ya very much. Theres not a mom out there that's as lucky as I (ok Carla)

Addiction.....

Addiction, man it can sneak up on you.
Jacob plays this online game called Runescape. Well couple months back he was playing it and none of his friends were on line. (in game friends) Anyways, he begged me for hours to play the game with him. I'm normally not into those kinds of games. (RPG) But I finally broke down and started playing with him. Well the last laugh was on me. lol. I got hooked on this silly game. Its not one of these games that you'll finish in a month or 2. Its a game that you'll play for years. Plus the creators are always adding new lands and tasks and games and all kinds of stuff. I talked to one player on game and he has been playing for 3 yrs and knew someone that's been playing over 5 yrs. I hate to admit this but that will be me. lol. And it has allot to do with y I haven't been updating my Blog. lol. That and other stuff. I spend what free time I have playing the game.
Jacob and I have spent the summer playing it. Since finances are short and really cant afford to do anything like we have during pasts summers. Anyways, though all we have really done is play that game I have to say its been one of the best summers. We have had a blast. And yes we do other things. Its been a fun way to spend time with him.

Im sorry its been so long...

I don't know if anyone actually reads my Blog. If there is anyone that reads it then I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long. Depending on which way you look at it will determine weather its been pretty hectic (and some days were) or as my life normally goes, pretty dull. lol. But here it is you can decide.
Ok the last time I wrote anything was right before my birthday. A very long time ago. lol. Back in April. Well the kids (NIki and Kyle) thru me a Murder Mystery party. And since I don't really know anyone, friends of Niki & Kyle came. It was so much fun. It was western themed. Sadly I don't member the all the names. But mine was Bella Starry. (most of the names were close to real life people). And I'm sorry I don't member your names but this one woman that we didn't like each other (n the game) she was awesome. At times I really believed she didn't like me. lol. We had clues that we had to find and things we had to say to other actors. In the end u have to figure out who the murderer was. My son, Jacob, was the one that was killed, and the lady that was the great actress was the one that did it. If you have never had one of these parties or attended one. You really should have one. And not just for bdays. Just for the fun of it. They are pretty inexpensive and they help you with everything. They give you almost everything. The script is 90% up to you. And they have probably every kinda party you could want. They even give u menu ideas. It was awesome. (My daughter posted a couple of pics on her site, check em out)
There has been developments with my injuries from the wreck, but probably shouldn't say anything. Just to let you know it hasn't been good. But thankfully I have one Dr on my side and is trying to help me every way he can. Its been almost a yr since the wreck and its been very hard. Having to deal with this alone. Its times like this I miss having someone special in my life. At times like this I really miss having that someone to hold me and tell me its going to be ok. Or hold me when I hurt so bad I cant stand it, or be angry with me cuz the Dr's wont do their jobs. Or just to have that special person there to be happy with and sad and all that stuff that special person does. lol. I wouldn't date anyone rite now with everything I have going on in my life. With me, and other stuff. I just don't have the time to devote to a new relationship. So I will continue to depend on myself as I have done my entire life.

1st time meeting the parents

Jacob has his 1st girlfriend. Her name is Rachael. She is just the cutest lil thing. She stands bout his height, she has long blond hair, and the longest skinniest legs you've ever seen. Well Jacob got Rachael something for Easter. (A lil basket, with some candy and a brown bear) I wish I would've taken a pic of it. The 1st gift to the 1st girlfriend. After the pinewood race and taking him and a friend of his to the park. I called her mom explaining to her Jacob got Rachael something for Easter and would it be ok if we bring it by. (Her mom just giggles very excitedly and says that is just the sweetest thing) and I get directions to her house. 1st house we go to wasn't theirs. lol. Their is now a visitor from CA that thinks Texans are really strange. lol. We get to Rachael's house. And Jacob is ready to run. Hes real nervous of course. I told him to take a deep breath and it will be ok. We get out of car and his mom meets us outside, then Rachael's dad and older sister. They just kinda circle poor Jacob. He has this look on his face like he doesn't know whether to scream, run or panic. lol x 100. He just stands there looking panicked. We all introduce ourselves and we go inside. I sit down and Jacob stands beside me. Rachael's parents and I are talking and poor Jacob still looks scared to death. After a couple of minutes of Rachael staring at him wondering what is in the bag hes holding and waiting patiently for him to give it to her. Jacob goes to sit the bag down and I motion for him to give the bag to Rachael. He hands the bag to her and her mom and sister just kinda gather round and they start going thru the bag. They loved what Jacob had given her. Esp the bear.
Here comes the best part and what just really kinda floored me.
We are leaving and Rachael's mom looks at Jacob and says thank you and that was just so sweet of you. Jacob looks up at her mom and very gentlemanly and very adult like says "It was my pleasure." I don't know who was more impressed and floored, me or her mom. lol. (sorry I cant remember their names) I had to pick my mouth up off the floor real quick. lol.
I was so proud of him. (although I'm always proud of him) Rachael's parents were very impressed with him as well. You could just tell. He used his manor and though they are only 11 yrs old. He showed (even though it was small) that he respected Rachael.
You know its not often that a mom or dad gets to be around when their son gets to meet the parents. So I was honored to be a part of it. And then for him to be respectful and impress the parents I was that much more honored. Its not often that parents get to see their kids at other people houses and to see if they did a good job at teaching them their manners and show respect to other people. I am so proud of him. And I have done my job at making him a great young man.